Human
by LackOfMemes
Summary: A month after the events of Habitat 7, her brother joined her team. Unbeknownst to him, Scott set off a chain of events, during which Sara had to question some of her most fundamental traits, and had to resolve whether she wants to follow in Alec's footsteps, or take the helm of her own fate.
1. Commons

**Commons**

When I saw Scott in his damaged cryo pod – it broke my heart. We said goodbyes six hundred years ago, not knowing if we would make it to Andromeda. If we didn't, we wouldn't see each other again, and I found solace in the idea that we both would be dead, drifting through dark space. But then, I was awake, and he was still on ice. He could've very well died, and, while I didn't know at that time, then I would've been the last from the family. Mom died back home, finally succumbing in to her illness, and Dad died soon after what happened to Scott, on Habitat 7.

Habitat 7. Just the passing thought conjures up nightmares. I thought I would die, falling through the sky of the planet, amongst debris from the shuttle. But I survived, while others from the shuttle did not. Just as I survived after my visor got cracked. I overheard Cora mumble during her routine maintenance of the Nomad that I could've just repaired my visor again. But I ran out of omni gel the first time I did just that.

But we got on better terms now. After our investigation into the Asari ark, I found out that she's just as human as we are. She has her faults and weaknesses, but also great strengths and intelligence. She isn't just someone doomed to be the Pathfinder's second in command, but a daring and brave soldier, who would give everything she got for what she believes in.

And what do we all believe in, anyway? Some, like Liam and Scott believed in the Andromeda Initiative. We all read the brochures, where they had artists' representation of the golden worlds. Habitat 1: desert, with underground rivers. Habitat 2: mineral-rich moon of a gas giant. Habitat 3: Lush jungles and rolling hills. Habitat 4: Lakes and rivers as far as eye can see. Habitat 5: Perfect for Turians and Quarians. Habitat 6: Oceans, and a temperate climate.

Others, like Suvi and the Asari Pathfinder Vederia Damali, believe in a higher power. They are firmly rooted in their faiths, and that gives them solid ground, whatever happens. Suvi is a woman of science and faith. She embodies that everyone, regardless of what they believe in, have a place in our universe. I admired her because of it.

"How are you holding up?" a voice so familiar, yet so distant asked. Scott walked up to me, and leaned on the handrail overlooking the Tempest. "It's one thing to hear about Dad dying. It's a whole other thing to experience it firsthand." I snapped out of my trance, and glanced at his scruffy face. Six hundred years of cryo and a month in coma does that to your face.

"I'm okay." I lied. I could always share my feelings with my brother. Feelings and thoughts that I hesitated to share with Cora or Lexi, the latter was even there to help us with these kinds of things. With his arrival on the Tempest, I had a chance to reconnect with him.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. We all need our own ways to cope with loss. I… I had time while I was in coma." It wasn't that I didn't want to talk about Dad's death. I wanted to talk with Scott in private, on my own terms. "Okay, let's change the subject."

"Oh? To what?"

"I heard you recruited more people to the pathfinder team. I hope I'll get my own bunk, and won't have to share."

"I guess that would depend on who you would be sharing the bunk with, huh?" I said playfully. I remembered that Scott hit it on with Cora before we left for the Ark. They were inseparable, and were pretty much a couple without ever admitting that to each other. Like husband and wife married for 50 years, they spent most of their awake time talking with each other.

"If a certain Ms. Harper is still on the team, then yeah."

"Well, you're in luck. You don't have to sleep in storage. Partly because Liam claimed that room with an ugly old couch, and because most of the crew sleeps in various other rooms, but the bunks."

"So… who's on the team?"

"Well, you know Cora, she's still here. I don't know if you met Liam before we boarded the Ark, but he's on the team as well. He's from crisis response, and he has cool dual-wielding omni tools. We have an Angaran crewmate, he's our… liaison to the Angara. His name is Jaal. On Eos, we met the Asari Peebee, and a Krogan who's probably older than everyone else. The former is quite the character, while the latter sometimes acts like he is your grumpy old grandpa. The last one is Vetra Nyx, a former Turian smuggler. She can get you anything you want."

"That's quite the list," Scott said. "But is that enough to fly _that_ ship? I mean, I don't have piloting qualifications."

"That's not all. There's Gil Brodie, our chief engineer, Kallo Jath for pilot, Dr. Lexi T'Perro, the Tempest's medical doctor after Harry stepped back after the events on Hab-7, and Dr. Suvi Anwar, our cute redhead science officer and Kallo's de facto copilot."

"Sis…" I've never seen Scott more serious than when I looked at his face. He was looking at me, scanning my face, as I did his. "Did you finally found the one?" he asked softly, leaning closer a bit.

That was the perfect occasion to bond with my brother. I knew about his romantic endeavors – he was always so eager to tell it to me. Thing is, he couldn't tell it to anyone else. Others at the station either already knew, or didn't care, and Mom and Dad were not the ones to talk to about so personal matters. While he was quite the womanizer, I could've count the times I fessed up to someone else.

"Yeah, uh, the thing is, she doesn't know about it…" I said, and stayed silent for a beat. "Yet?"

He dropped his serious act and smiled at me. He dragged me into a big hug – I may be a minute older than him, but he could always embrace me like a bastion. "That's your problem, sis." He patted my back, then broke away from the hug. "You never had the balls to declare your love. Remember that guy in high school? Your drooled over him for weeks. Then that chick you told me about from college. How time flies."

"How about we talk about my private life on the Tempest?" I suggested. "Some are awfully eager to meet the brother of the Pathfinder."

"Ouch," Scott said, "I wonder what my role will be in your legacy."


	2. Prodromos

**Prodromos**

The colony on Eos was the most advanced being the first I founded. While I was quite fond of the planet, my favorite was Elaaden – in the shades at least. Beautiful vista 'till the eye can see.

We landed on Eos that one time because Cora wanted to show us something not far from Prodromos. The drive was uneventful, as after the destruction of the Kett base, not many dropships arrived, save for the occasional patrols around rem-tech and pockets of Scourge.

"I'm still eager to know where we're going," Scott grumbled, pouting in the back seat of the Nomad. Cora sat beside me, scanning the landscape. I had to have the Nomad upgraded a couple of times, so we could reach a higher top speed in six-wheel drive.

Cora sighed. "Sometimes, you're a pain in the ass, Scott." He was. It was good to have him back, but I could never spend more than two days with him before his presence became unbearable. Don't get me wrong, I love my little brother, but he has some quirks I'm not quite fond of.

I drove for a couple of minutes then arrived by the shores of a small lake. Cora guided me to park the Nomad by the remains of a shipping container, then stepped out. Glancing at Scott, he has the same clueless look to his face as I did. He shrugged, and we stumbled out of the car and followed Cora through the debris, past a crashed habitat building right to the shoreline. Cora stared at the horizon, the water washing over her boots from time to time. When we arrived, she fastened her helmet onto her belt, put her gloves down on the ground, and kneeled down to fiddle with a small box.

"What's that?" Scott crouched down, caressed Cora's back, and picked up a small seed from the box, and rolled it in his hand. It was the seed of a rose. "Cora?"

"I told Sara before that I want to have my own garden. Well, this might just be it. Given time, and with the help of the Remnant vault, this place could harbor a lush garden. And we're about to sow its seeds – quite literally."

We followed suite, dismantling our armor, and got to work. The brunt of the work took only ten or fifteen minutes, but we spent a good hour or two, because we enjoyed ourselves and stayed longer than necessary. We talked about our achievements – I tried to play it humble, but Cora kept correcting me and giving me all the credit instead.

Scott saw through it, and playfully hit Cora by her shoulder, but I saw in his eyes, that deep down, it still hurt him. He always wanted to be the hero of his own story. He dreamed of exploring space beyond the mass effect relay he guarded. Except the occasional Batarian pirate, life was boring on his post.

After silence fell over the conversation, I got lost in the blue sky and the white clouds. We sat in the shade of the destroyed habitat, just taking in the sights. Scott standing up surprised me. He excused himself, and left to take a walk back to Prodromos. I was about to stand up as well, but he placed a hand over my shoulders.

"Enjoy this moment, sis. I'll manage on my own," he said, and began walking away from us. Cora turned her head, and followed him with her eyes as he walked away until we lost sight of him. He checked in periodically over our comms, putting our minds at rest about his well-being.

Cora jumped to sit next to me, shoulder to shoulder as we took in the cooling air as the sun went down. We remained silent, which let my mind wander off. I remembered the Citadel back home, how I used to sit by the lake in the Presidium, dangling my feet over the edge. It was similar, spending afternoons by the lake with a friend, reading, writing, or learning.

Even in primary school, I loved to read about the Protheans, the histories of the Asari, Salarians, Turians… I was also a chronic daydreamer, lost in wild stories where I commanded my own ship, jumping from cluster to cluster, saving the colonists from pirates and slavers. All the while weaving romantic stories into my head canon.

I may have been close to this dream during my time at Prothean sites, but after word got out that Alec Ryder worked on illegal artificial intelligence, our progress basically halted. Funding was cut from every program I participated in, and I had to resort to working menial jobs either on the Human embassy on the Citadel, or human colonies.

Scott didn't fare better either – he was let go from his post by the relay, and he was assigned a desk job on Arcturus Station. He was livid. For a time, he cut all contact with Mom and Dad. They communicated through me; I had to relay every angry message, and every hopeful query on his well-being.

Mom's disease and the preparations to the Initiative brought Scott back into the family. It gave him purpose. A chance to be the pioneer he always wanted to be. Between the three of us, he trained the hardest. And now, he may finally have a chance to show it.

"It's time like these I'm happy I came to Andromeda," Cora said, nudging my shoulder.

"I love taking deep breaths. The air is so much cleaner than on the Nexus," I replied.

I tried to train my biotic skills in the Milky Way, but something was always off. I was supposed to be able to pull in larger objects, like books or glasses, but I always let go of them mid-way through. And I noticed during the last couple of mission that my vanguard and adept profiles kept failing on me. I couldn't dash using my biotics, and that worried me.

To try and put my mind at ease, I wanted to pull the empty box Cora brought with her to me, so I raised my hand, and motioned to up and toward me. Sure enough, a blue glow encompassed the box, moving it through the air, but just outside of reach it crashed into the sand, kicking up a dust cloud.

Cora must've noticed my annoyance, because she stood up, and gave a hand helping me up.

"So that's what's been eating you, huh." I didn't know what she referred to. I tried not to show any frustration to the crew, as I tried my hardest to keep the image of the pathfinder strong. "We have time, if you want, I can help you practice."

"I don't know how you could help me," I said, looking at my hands, "even I don't know what's holding me back."

Cora prepared some objects, boxes, and debris from the habitat as practice, while talking me over some basic concepts. "Biotics are _volatile_. You need peace of mind to achieve your fullest potential," she said, and placed the last piece of debris on the shoreline. "Whenever you're ready." She motioned over the subjects of my practice.

My eyes landed on an empty metal container. I took a deep breath, thinking about Mom, then raised my hand. The box followed, then crashed. This happened a few times more before Cora stopped me. "What do you think of when you raise your hand?"

"I think about Mom," I said, "she was always there for me. It seems fitting, her work on implants helped me and many others with biotic potential. But… that's what eventually doomed her in the end."

"There's your answer," Cora said, and touched my shoulder. The contact sent shivers down my spine. "You may try to fixate on warming thoughts, but unconsciously, your mind connects your mother's death to biotics, which is one of you core traits."

"But if not Mom, then who should I think about?"

"That's something you have to know. Whoever works, really. Someone with you have a deep connection maybe. Someone you care for, someone you may want to see when you get home after a workday. Or someone who stood by you in your time of need. The person you think about when you hear these sentences. Trust your intuition."

After she finished, I turned to the box one last time. I placed my boots firmly in the sand, stood with my arms at my side, and took a deep breath. Cora stepped back behind me to my right, her arms crossed behind her back.

I heard people name their weapons things. Until that day, I have never considered, as they were just a tool to me. But I started to favor one over the others – an _N7 Valkyrie_. Its name reminded me of Dad; he too had a gun he saved from the first contact war. The Valkyrie was back in the Nomad, and I hoped I could get Cora to help me etch something onto the material of the grip.

But what?

I closed my eyes, and imaged myself picking up the gun, and looking for an etching. On the underside of the grip, only visible in the right light were two letters carved with a compass or a sharp knife:

 _SA_


	3. Pathfinder's Cabin

**Pathfinder's Cabin**

All weapons must be stored in the armory for our safety, so, obviously, I kept the _N7 "Suvi Anwar" Valkyrie_ on me, and smuggled it into my cabin. I feared others would notice the etching, which would've made me uncomfortable explaining the origin; some of the crew might've teased me to no end. Especially Liam and Peebee. Drack wouldn't've understood the fuss around it. "Just tell her how you feel, kid, you already live such short lives," I grumbled, imitating his voice.

Every morning before taking a shower I dragged my fingers along the firing chamber of the rifle, feeling the bumps of the inscriptions. It was a memento, filling my mind with a vision of her red hair. Every evening when I read the reports from the colonies, I glanced at the gun. If a particular headline annoyed me for a reason, I thought about her, a breath of fresh air amongst the problems in Andromeda.

One morning, around an hour before noon, Vetra strolled into the pathfinder's cabin. Oblivious to the turian, I kept running my hands over the etching time and again. She stopped in the doorway, and cleared her throat, in turn, I instinctively tried to hide the gun, to avoid the inevitable embarrassing talk.

"Why would you have a gun on you?" she asked. "I hope you don't plan to go on a rampage."

"No, of course not, why would I?" I said, trailing the sentence with an awkward laugh. I felt ashamed, and began to feel too warm, like I'm presenting my thesis on Protheans to T'Soni. "Oh, you-you have my rations? Thanks." I failed to convey any meaningful emotions, stuttering my way out of the mess of a situation I got myself into.

Vetra put down the bag of snacks, tea, and noodles on the table, then stood with her hand on her hips. "What's going on, Ryder?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"Sure, you do." She wasn't fooled that easy.

How much was I willing to tell her? There wasn't a single easy to explain reason why there was a gun with me. First, I fell for Suvi. Second, Cora helped me etch her initials onto the gun. Third, I didn't want to store the gun in the armory because then the crew would start to ask questions, had they noticed. Fourth, it acted as a reminder of her. I'm weird as hell.

"I, uh…" I brought out the rifle from behind me, and laid it on my lap, the barrel facing to my right. "Come here," she followed suit, and sat beside me, to my left. "Please keep what I'm about to tell you a secret, okay?"

"Sure, what's going on, Ryder?"

I picked up the gun by its barrel, and turned it over. It felt warm under my hand. I revealed the inscription, the initials lit by the star behind us just right so they shone clear on the red finish. "Last time we were on Eos, I spent some time with Cora, and we talked about… things… You know Scott was walking back to Prodromos on foot," she nodded, and I continued, "I asked her to help me etch something onto the grip." I circled the area with my fingers where Suvi's initials were inscribed, and handed the gun to Vetra.

I gauged her face as she leaned closer, looking at it from different angles. The gun's moving parts clanged in low notes as she turned it upside down. Heart-to-heart talks were painful to me, I would've very much liked to play it goofy. I never took my feelings seriously, but Scott's words ringed true in my ears.

Was she truly the one? If yes, then I wanted to do everything right. I wouldn't have been able to live with the fact that I screwed up something by talking too fast, or neglecting a small detail.

"I see." She handed the rifle back to me, and I placed it on my lap, etching facing up. It was amazing to me that she was able to connect the dots between the inscription, Suvi, and my feelings toward her. "Whenever I was visiting Kallo and Suvi on the bridge, and you happened to be around, I noticed you acted strange around the girl," she said. She leaned back on the couch, and turned towards me with her body, one of her legs resting on her knee. "I figured something was up, I'm glad my suspicions were true."

"I hope others don't share your suspicions?"

"I keep to myself. Wouldn't know about others. Though, you should talk to Lexi about it."

"Why Lexi? It's kind of a personal matter, wouldn't you say?"

"Alright then, what's your plan?"

"Nothing.

" _Nothing_?"

"Yeah."

"Doesn't that eat you every time you see her?"

It did. "Not really…" Days like those, I wanted everyone in Andromeda and the Milky Way to know she was my girlfriend. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her. Settle on a colony or the Nexus, and give the role of the pathfinder to someone else. Cora would love that.

"You went through a lot of trauma so far, and it doesn't look like you'll stop soon."

"I try not think about them too much," I said. Keeping feelings back, that's been my forte since Mom fell ill.

"You keep doing that, and one day those repressed feelings will erupt, or worse, make you physically sick. If not me, that's fine, but you should really talk them over with your brother, Lexi, or hell, even Suvi. Would give a fine time to get closer to her." Vetra's eyes wondered around the room, eventually settling on mine.

I always took the happy go lucky approach to life, and never let negative sentiments take a hold in my brain. "It won't come to that," I said, forcing a smile.

"You do you, Ryder," Vetra said, and jumped up. "I have to go, Drack is probably getting angry waiting for his rations." She walked for the door, but stopped as it opened. Vetra turned and drew a heart in the air with her fingers, before she spun around and left the room. I cracked a smile at her gesture. She was cute, how she really cared about us. After the doors closed I leaned back, closed my eyes, and traced the letters of the inscription. I exhaled, imagining Suvi sitting beside me, her soft pale hand sliding over mine and turning to lock our fingers together. Hand in hand, so close together.

And my cheeks curled into a smile.


End file.
